FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

New Johnson Study

2001 --

In a recent study by the Johnson Foundation Industries Research Laboratories Co. Inc.

Inconclusive evidence has proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that…

¿ One out of every ten children born is born to raise hell.

¿ The third church conquers all.

The Study also shows that all those we have proclaimed as Johnson were born to raise hell.

Therefore this study proves that every tenth child born is a Johnson.

Are you a Johnson?

“If you’re not a Johnson,

you’re just a dick.”

The result of the awful theoretical mathematic calculations of our scientists cannot be disproved.

... Contact the Church for the details of our studies.